Yeah, I am still alive. Just don t have time to update, since Ive been spending my time with the greatest lady ever. I will trz to have a big big big update of the adventures when I can, since lots, lots happent. Livin mz incredible Journey.
I’ve been pretty lazy here in Amsterdam with the things that happent, and some other factors. Tho i’ve walked the city alot, been around the redlight district yesterday. It’s something to see, but not as impressive as I would have expected. Fun tho, with all the tourists fooling around everywhere.
I decided to go see the Casa Rossa. Live Porno Theatre. I didn’t know too much what to expect. I was surprised too see quite a mixed crowd, and the room being more like a theatre room. And it was what it was, a show, even tho they had sex on scene it was more like a choregraphy than the act of it. Some of it was also more amusement, with the banana eating from the vagina, or weird like the chick who smokes from her vagina ; this one kinda weirded me out, as she was anorexic looking. Most of the models were not the american perfect either. It seemed quite more like a artistic/entertainment performance that a pervert show.
Then I met with a dude on the streets, I got a bit scared at first considering what had happent, but he ended up being a nice guy, I don’t know about trustable. Anyways with quite some uneasyness I ended up finding my way to the bus and back to the hostel quite easyly this time.
Well, last 2 days I’ve been drifting the streets of Amsterdam, enjoying the sights, feeling the city, and of course stopping by every now and then at a Cofee Shop. High in Amsterdam, I tried some pretty good stuff around here, and I am pretty much high all the time.
Yesterday I went trought the redlight, saw the prostitutes, the multiple live show places and such. Quite an interesting place, I have not yet ventured into any of the places there exept for some erotic museum, wich was well, not that much for what was paid for. At least I got to see some stupid porno cartoon shit.
Then later on in the evening, switching in between neighboorhood, some guy asks me for a cigarette, then he starts trying to sell me coke, wich I don’t want, and he insist, dosen’t let me go. And he goes for my pocket. I hold him back and I’m ready to hit him and a few thing goes trought my head. There’s what, 36-37euros in there, are his friends close by, is he armed, where the fuck am I? And then he says something like, don’t make me pull my knife. I do not panic, and I go, fuck this, go ahead, take it, not worth the risk for a few euros like this. I’ve been trought enough already I don’t need to made it get worst.
And he goes off running with my money, happily he left enough there for me to take the tram back to the hostel. I still do not regret anything, all these things happening, this is life happening right there, experiences, hardships, trials. I’m living it all. Could this be an epic in the beggining. Haha.
Surely more later…
Seeing the complications of travelling to Sankt-Vith that day, I had a sudden change of direction. Reserved a hostel in Amsterdam and went off in a rush at the train station. I had been a bit disinformed and was told I could not go that day. This got me really mad as I was going to be stuck in Paris.
I checked a few things, got myself back together and went back to the station, making some mantras along the way. I had to try everything, I was going to Amsterdam that night. Indeed I did, with some help from the lady there I could find a way tranferring 3 times, better than nothing, I tought. I first went by a French city named Lile. I didnt get the time to really see, but I liked the feeling of the place, people were really nice there. I even passed by an anarchist (I think) manifestation going on there. Then on to Brussels, where I had to run to catch the next train to Amsterdam.
When I got there, I got as usual confused as to where I go and how I find the place (I had a tiny google map print). I eventually found the Hostel, the guy there was really nice, he also spoke french. Told me wich tram to take and every thing. But I didn’t get all as he put me on a tram. I have no map, no idea where I’m going, I just get off somewhere where there seems to be action and look around. Of course the first thing is do is buy a big joint, and I am really stoned. Of course with no directions at all I get lost again, trying to find the hostel, strangely to a poin I was getting close, but always going in the wrong direction it seemed. I felt as I was lost in some some of vortex.
I finally got back to the hostel and went to sleep… slept quite easy.
It’s a really nice place, the architechture is really rich, better than Paris. The canals, illuminated by the night are beautifull. For the first time here, everything I hear seems gibberish.
Now, next day; Warning, some gruesome details here… follow at your own risk
Unfortunately I suffer from Hemoroids, usually I can do with, but that time. It started in the day, and got worst and worst up to a point I had a hard time walking. I decided to take it easy, hang out in the cafes and internet places. I bought a good amount of weed and a space cake as I went to my room. I hope it would be better tomorow, I tought I’d get really high and go for some shamanistic explorations. I also had my bottle of absinthe I carry around. No doubt it gave some kind of an interesting experience with the pain – releif relations and all.
But it got worst and worst during the night, the pain was really quite invading, taking by the root and grasping all over the body, really felt week by some times, getting hot / cold waves due to too much pain.
It felt as if I had been raped by a bear. I got out during the night hoping to catch a cab, or someone to call one for me but couldnt find. I endured. Until early thing morning, I paked all my bags in case I had to be there longer and went out. Walked really really slowly and painfully to the corner. No cabs. I got the policed to tell me the way to the closest hospital, wich by chance was close. What would have normally been a 10 minutes walk for me was at least a 40-50 minutes walk of pain to the hospital.
Luckyly there was almost no one ther and I was admitted in less than 30 minutes. I got checked, they gave me painkillers, and I fell asleep until they checked me first, the the surgeon a bit later. In a really painfull maneuver of the thumb he fixed me back in, prescribed me stuff, and I fell asleep there again. At some point I was waken up by a nurse there. Got back to the hostel, slept a bit, got medications, and so on. And there I am, still alive after the most painfull night of my life, back on my feet, a bit tired, but well alive and ready to go on.
That is it, I’m leaving as I really started to like the place. But I’m not to stick anywhere or to anyone, as I came here to be free of those things. The trip is already more than i would have expected, it’s been a week and a few days, and I’ve had the impression of being there for a month. Great changes are taking place within me, the whole dynamics of my toughts, feelings and beleifs is shifting drastically. I’m starting to feel what I never wanted, what I loathed; peace.
I passed the last few days with my friend Zizi, had a great time here. First night we went for a nice supper, then for a bottle of wine in the streets. That’s when we met with a weird black dude who wouldn’t stop talking about sex, thai hoars and his cock, wich he made sure to show us everytime he went for a piss. I was amused at first, but grew irritated with him, as he was bullshiting stuff, and just being all over my friend, not leaving us alone, he almost followed us back to our respective places. Good thing I stayed, otherwise i think he’d have tried to rape her. I do hate these assholes.
Next day, we met again, went to the louvre. It was amazing, there’s great energy coming from the art, I only regret that I couldnt take more time to really appreciate it, and to see more. The only problem there are the tourists all opver, often making it difficult to appreciate, with them taking pictures all the time. Worst was the Mona Lisa, where a mass of them just gather there and spend their whole camera on it, wich I find quite absurd, since, well, you can get that picture, probably better than what you took anywhere. It made it almost impossible to really appreciate the peice, at least it leaves the place to see the other stuff. With all the wonderfull art that is there, I can’t beleive how much people just do and appreciate what they are told to, in this case the Mona Lisa, like if that’s the only thing in the museum.
We then went walking in the park, and I got trapped to accompany her for some shopping, arrrrggg!!! In the evening I brought her to the Cantada for a taste of absinthe. She was sacred at first, but we quickly broke the myth that it makes you crazy. She actually really liked it. Then we went our ways, only to meet again the next day.
Fact- Absinthe was actually not banned because it made you crazy, but because at the time it was more popular than wine. So the wine lobby had it illegalised for commercial reasons. A bit like hemp in the united states, wich was against cotton, even tho a great fabric, got illegalised because of the cotton lobby. Slave work is much more profitable heh.
Next day, we went for a walk in the city and visited the Madelaine church. It was amazing, made like an old greek temple, the place was kind of dark and gloomy, but really beautifull. Inside we could hear like a growling from the vibrations in the exterior, wich made it seem like you are in a void space. Enregies there we quite the thing, but I didn’t get the chance to work them that much since I was with her.
We separated and then I crossed her again in the evening, she was taking a drink with her fashion model friend here in Paris for some casting. We then went for a walk, drinking in the streets again, having good times. Yesterday was my last day with her, we went to walk on the saint-martin canal, I was really starting to get tired here with all those adventures, and also to the fact that I grew quite fond of her, but that I resisted any desires I could have.
I choose to do so for a few reasons, first of all, our paths separate, and in my case I do not wish to hold on to anything or anyone here. Then she didn’t make it easy for me to do so, would I not have so much control, I would have raged in jealousy and desires, hearing her talking about some things that I won’t detail here. I had a great time with her, but I also suffered alot inside. She was not just a travel companion, she also became a great, friend, a confident and so on…
So I’m leaving Paris with a heavy heart. Heavy of unfullfiled love, of great emotions, deceptions. I really started to like the place but it’s time that I move on.
I’ll be going in Sankt-Vith today, in a remote part of Belgium, ressource myself for a few days before going on. Thanks to Stephane who put me in contact there.
I’ll be adding the link to Spytronic, company for wich he’s VP, if you would ever need security/spy/counter-spy material this is the place.
And also Louis’s websites. Check him out hes a good photographer.
Doin good, doin good.
Took it easy yesterday as I arranged to meet with Zizi (yeah that’s a surname), a friend of mine from Montreal that I got word was in Paris too. Went drifting in the day trought the Belleville Neighborhood of Paris (asian part), and I’m really getting the hang of it, starting to get much better at navigating the city. I stubled upon a nice big church (I’ll edit when I get the name) where a mass was going on. Of course I couldn’t resist playing with those energies, and just, confronting myself to the Christian dogma. I’m surprised how much their speach turns towards the proliferation of their beleifs. Cultural diversity is not an opportunity to learn for them, it’s an opportunity to conformise more people to their beleifs. And I also am surprised of the stupid stories they can pull out of their book, making no fucking sense at all.
Guess what; I sent out a big “Fucking Bullshit!” tought towards them (well, what did you expect from me…duuuh!) but hey I still have the respect not to interupt them by yelling it loudly. I don’t know what it is about churches and masses, but I surely feel the energies going on in there, I snapped off into hard gnosis a few times in there, did invocations. Was pretty neet. I’m really starting to declare myself as an ennemy of the christian gods ( Not neccessarily the followers, sheeps are sheeps, and everyone needs sheeps ).
Then I went to meet with Zizi, had a beer with her, met some of her friends wich I’ll probably meet again in Berlin. She will also be living in Barcelone soon, so guess what, I got myself a roof over there when I’ll go. I then went for supper with Louis in Saint-Michel ( I think ) then went went on in those area around the louvre, arc of triumph, and the rich area where they sell shirts at 2000 euros. Was pretty nice to see. Tonight I’ll be staying in a cheap crappy hotel in the Belleville area.
Stay Tuned for more….
And remember Khaos Prevails! Always keep on the assault!
The travel is getting better and better…. Starting to really enjoy it here.
Benn to the catacombs yesterday, the place is quite amazing. There’s walls made out of skulls and bones, designed to give shape to a cross, a heart, lines in skulls. Of course i took the opportunity to get a good feel of the place, wich gave an emotionless atmosphere of emptyness, void, lifelessness, death in other words. Some of the skulls even seemed to hold some sort of personnality even tho their immobilism. I regret I didn’t get to see less touristics aspect of the catacombs such as the german bunker, and other things.
I’ve really only been struck by it as I got out of there, the entrance into the world of the dead wasn’t as noticable as the return to the world of the living. It left me feeling really odd for over an hour afterwards. I just then continued drifting until I came by the Luxemburg gardens. The place is beautifull, such a charming place.
In the evening I went and met with Louis, my first contact from Quebec here, he was really kind and welcoming. We met with some of his co worker and went to a place called “n’importe quoi” (any thing). I had great fun, met with lots of people there. The places here are quite different than those of montreal, much smaller, but more people. Gives somekind of a warmer impression.
Today, resting a bit after that. I’ll probly meet up with a girl I know from Montreal, even thinking about taking 1 or 2 more days here than I expected to, visit a little more. The architechture, monuments, scuptures here are amazing.
Stay tuned…
Benn to the Cantada II yesterday (http://www.cantada.net/). Place is really nice, decor is amazing in it’s style. This place has the biggest absinthe menu in france, maybe even europe. It’s a small place really into the underground punk/metal movement. The barman there was really nice, took time to instruct me on absinthe, it’s taste, origins, history as well as other things. People here were really nice, notice me by my accent, had a few opportunities to exanche on Montreal, Quebec, and Paris.
I loved the absinthe, it’s really tastefull, and I think an effect different than conventional alchool. I felt like I was getting lighter, but without my senses being hindered, a bit like my mind was floating in some sort of lightness and as if my mind had been unblocked.
I got up this morning with this impression of futility, I wondered what I was doing there, I didn’t feel so different, I didn’t feel that much disoriented. It is certainly interesting to go around, see things, but i find absurdity in being just an observer of the world. To simply look, see and interpret, limiting with the surface of things even in our interactions and actions. Work, culture, travel, are we really interested in those things or do we only do them in the consensus of reality, folowing the movements. Tourists in our own life. I know for sure, that this is not my wish, I wish to become actor in this great play, not only to feel, see and follow the waves, the energies, the flow, but to work with them, influence them, take part in their movement. As I was walking the street this morning I had one thing going trought my head over and over; “Mort a l’image ; Saluez la nouvelle chair ; Death to the Image; Hail the New Flesh” (yeah my my goes around both in french and english).
So, as of now I’m pretty much on my own, hotel time is over, thanks to a friend of mine in montreal, I have a contact here where I will be ables to sleep tonight. I’m going to go around, visit some more, then I’ll be out of here, the city is beautifull, but I can’t wait to move on, Paris isnt that much my kind of place. The atmosphere here, its feels closed down on itself. (to me anyways)
More lata.
Been strolling around the city today, got down by the river. Its beautifull there, I also took the opportunity to visit notre-dame de Paris, again; Amazing. Going on like that for a nice long walk, seeing the beautifull landscape and architecture really raised my spirits. I even “assisted” to a Mass at the notre dame. Did some energy work during it and well, I got quite the feelings there. I played with it experimented it. Lots of energy going around that place.
The beauty and romantism of this part of the town really amazed me, cheered me way back up.
Tonight I’ll be visiting the Cantada II, have a taste of their absinthe. Then I’ll take 1 or 2 ,ore days in here, before I get someplace else.
Damn I hate those Keyboards.
My begginings here shows to be in the extremes. From great highs to downs. I did expect it, but not as much and as fast. I am having quite a hard time at the moment, feeling really lonely out here, far from my own. And am really having a hard time connecting with the people here.
First day was quite an adventure, visiting, and looking to find my way, I ended up on the Pigale, sex neighborhood of Paris. Happy, motivated and naive that I am, I really got had in their games and had a hard time getting out of the neighborhood. Every bar i passed, they litteraly pulled me in, where i was warmly greeted by beautifull Parisian woman, being a stranger, and the original that I am, I got lots of attention. But theyre really sneaky out there, get you in offer you a drink, then without asking anything they start doing their thing, and well, next thing you know, you have to pay their way too fucking expensive drink, and nobody even told you anything, or even asked. In other words I’ve been had like a stupid fucking tourist.
But I won’t regret the experience. It was an expensive well learnt lesson, and I got to meet with Maya. Allright, stripper and prostitute, at least she was honest all the way with me, told me all, and asked, she was in fact really convincing, but far from the usual stuck-up asshole, or just crook Parisians I’ve met so far, she even admited herself they were like that. She was really nice to me, gave me more than she should have, took time with me. She came to my hotel the next day, had a good time, hehe.
I’d like here to call for some comprehension, revision of judgment for people of this trade, they’re not all neccesarily depraved, fucked up people, or whatever. Some of them do hold much more goodness and nobility than people of commandable trades.
So, I’m having a hard time for the moment here. But I came here to face the world, to discover, to learn, to develop myself, and I’m already feeling great changes operating inside me, even tho I still feel as empty inside as always. I am facing my own paradox.
Without going into too much detail, I’ve already faced a few trials and dangers here, lots of nonchalence. Yesterday I was even frisked randomly by some undercover cops, grabing me in the middle of the streets, cornering me, felt harassed. I even thing they used the surprise and confusion they caused to serve themselves in my pockets, since I seem to have lost a good sum of money after. Add that to that Pigale trip, I lost a fucking load of money there.
And it has only been 3 days in here (well, thats for 2 days, beggining the 3rd here). I’m going to try have a break, find a few contacts where I can just relax safely. I’ve even been thinking to retreat myself in a monastery.
Anyways, big start, if experiences both good and bad continue to go on (please not the wallet again) I’ll get a huge experience baggage here. I’m already feeling my mind exploding, my senses developping.
Stay tuned for more…
Edited a few details, too personnal from my relations opinions, maybe right. Guess I’m too luch used to be like an open book.
